Munchausen (1781) - part 7



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7) One day when I was out hunting I’d run completely out of ammunition, when suddenly I came across a magnificent stag, who stood quite calmly in front of me, as if he knew my difficulty. I quickly loaded with powder, sucked the flesh off a lot of cherry stones, which I put in on top, and shot the deer right in the forehead. He recoiled but ran off immediately. A year later I went into the same forest, and met a stag whose brow sported a cherry tree with leaves and beautiful blossoms. I recognised my prey at once; and this time he didn’t get away.

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Einmal auf der Jagd hatt’ ich mich an Schroot schon ganz verschossen; und da find ich noch einen stattlichen Hirschen, der so still mir gerade gegenüber steht, als wenn er meinen Mangel wüßte. Ich lade geschwinde mit Pulver, und setze eine Menge Kirschkerne, wovon ich schnell das Fleisch absauge, droben auf, und schieße den Hirschen gerade vor die Stirne. Er prellt zurük, aber entkömmt mir bald. Ein Jahr nachher geh’ ich im selben Walde, und da kömmt mir ein Hirsch entgegen, aus dessen Stirne ein Kirschbaum mit Blättern und schöner Blüthe hervorsteht. Ich erkenne sogleich mein Eigenthum; und dießmal entkam er mir nicht mehr.


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Munchausen (1781) - part 6

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6) Another time on the hunt, I saw two wild boar, one following the other very closely; I took a snap shot that flew between them, but to my surprise the leader ran away and the follower stopped. On closer examination I saw that the latter was an old blind sow that had taken the tail of the lead pig (surely her son) in her mouth, and was led about in that way. I had shot off the tail, and the sow still had a bit of it clamped in her jaws. Since her guide was no longer pulling, she stood still. I had nothing with me to butcher her, so I took what was left of the tail and drew her leisurely into my farmyard, she following patiently as before.

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6) Auch begegnet’ ich einst zwey wilden Schweinen auf der Jagd, die dicht hinter einander gingen; ich schoß mit Fleiß mitten zwischen ihnen durch: und siehe! das vorderste lief fort, und das hinterste blieb stehen. Bey genauerer Untersuchung war dieß eine alte blinde Sau, die den Schwanz des vorangehenden Schweines, ohne Zweifel ihres Jungen, in den Mund genommen, und sich so hatte leiten lassen; ich hatte den Schwanz abgeschossen, und die [96] Sau hatte noch ein Endchen davon im Munde. Itzt da ihr Führer sie nicht mehr fortzog, stand sie still. Ich hatte gar nichts bey mir, um sie niederzumachen, nahm also das Restchen Schwanz, und zog sie so gemächlich in meinen Hof, wohin sie mir auch geduldig folgte.


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FIFA Fuss and F-You Litigation

http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/jigsaw-puzzle-complete-23291229.jpg

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-32895048

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_2022_FIFA_World_Cup_bid

If the machinery of justice is called in, let it be for all, not just for revenge.

And why is Switzerland cooperating?

Nobody likes a bully.


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Counsellors of despair

Chris Hedges at Truthdig ("Our mania for hope is a curse") wants us to give up hope so that we will be impelled to act.

Shan't. I had to email this to the site as comment opportunities are truncated:

Shame comments thread closes so fast. I'd want to say:

1. Interesting you chose Zweig as an example. He killed himself in Brazil (a country that didn't do badly afterwards) and 1942, three years before Nazism was defeated and the world began its enormous leaps forward. Suicide is a temptation for the overthinker.

2. Like Sartre, you seem to counsel despair (which advice he never applied to himself) in order that "we" can act. But the whole point of ceaseless mass surveillance, the erosion of civil liberties and the nazification of law and order in the West is to prevent us combining effectively.

In the face of this, I think quietism and hope are perfectly rational. The system cannot go on for ever, and when the last eagle is extinct, there will still be rabbits.

Ben Jonson (allegedly): "I have studied all the theologies and all the philosophies, but cheerfulness keeps breaking through."


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Munchausen (1781) - Part 5

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5) One day when I was out hunting in Russia I came upon a beautiful black fox, whose pelt I wanted to have as undamaged as possible. He was standing by a tree, so instead of a musket ball I loaded a sharp nail and fired such a lucky shot that I nailed his tail to that tree. Now as he stood pinned, I ran up to him and made a cross cut on his forehead with my hunting knife, then I took my whip and thrashed him right through the opening on his head and out of his skin.

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5) Auf der Jagd in Rußland stieß ich einst auf einen schönen schwarzen Fuchs, dessen Balg ich gern so unbeschädigt als möglich gehabt hätte. Er stand nah an einem Baum; ich lud also statt der Kugel einen spitzigen Nagel, und schoß, und traf so glüklich, daß ich seinen Schwanz an diesen Baum nagelte. Nun, wie er fest saß, lief ich auf ihn zu, machte mit meinem Jagdmesser ihm einen Kreuzschnitt auf der Stirne, nahm dann meine Peitsche zur Hand, und prügelte ihn so durch die Oefnung am Kopf zum Fell hinnaus.


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Munchausen (1781) - Part 4

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4) One day I looked out of my window and saw a large team of wild ducks on the lake. My flintlock was standing in the corner, so I quickly seized it and ran out, but in my hurry I banged my face on the doorpost so hard that I could see sparks dancing before my eyes. However that didn’t put me off and I came outside. Only when I raised my gun did I notice that the same blow had knocked the flint off the hammer. What could I do? I remembered what I’d seen when I bumped into the door-post; I readied the gun, aimed, opened the pan, and gave myself a smack in the eye with my fist. Sparks flew out again, the charge ignited, and I had ten ducks.

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4) Aus meinem Zimmer sah ich einmal eine Menge wilder Enten auf dem See. Schnell grif ich zu meiner in der Ecke stehenden Flinte, lief eilig heraus, aber so unvorsichtig, daß ich das Gesicht an den [95] Thürpfosten dermaßen stieß, daß mir das Feuer aus den Augen flog. Doch das hielt mich nicht ab, ich kam heraus; allein beym Aufspannen merkte ich, daß durch diesen Stoß auch der Stein vom Hahn abgefallen war. Was war zu thun? Ich erinnerte mich, was beym Stoße an den Thürpfosten geschehen war; legte an, zielte, öfnete die Pfanne, und schlug nun mit gebalter Faust ins Auge. Es flog abermal Feuer heraus, der Schuß gelang, und ich hatte 10 Enten.


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Munchausen (1781) - Part 3

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3) Nearing Petersburg I took to a sleigh. In the Finnish woods I saw a terrifying wolf that looked very hungry. He was loping behind me and caught up easily, and I soon saw that I could not get away from him. So I lay down flat in the sleigh, and let my horse run straight on. Things turned out as I had guessed and hoped: the monster leaped over my head and onto my horse, and began to devour it from behind. I sat up in my sleigh and watched this gruesome sight. Finally, when the wolf had eaten his way into the horse’s chest and was between the traces, I struck the wolf with the whip’s handle as hard as I could. He sprang forward, startled; what was left of the horse fell away, the wolf was in the harness and could not get back out. I whipped even harder, he raced ahead madly, and by this means I made my entry into Petersburg.

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Original:

3) Nahe vor Petersburg nahm ich einen Schlitten. In den finnischen Wäldern sah ich einen entsetzlichen Wolf, der mir sehr hungrig schien, hinter mir hertraben; er holte mich leicht ein, und ich sah bald, daß ich ihm nicht entfliehn konnte. Ich legte mich also platt im Schlitten nieder, und ließ mein Pferd gerade aus laufen; es geschah, was ich vermuthet und gehoft hatte: Das Unthier setzte über meinen Kopf weg, gerade auf mein Pferd zu, und fing an, es von hinten aufzufressen. Ich richtete mich in meinem Schlitten auf, und sah diesem Gräuel zu. Endlich, wie der Wolf schon an der Brust des Pferdes war, und sich auf die Art in das Seilenzeug hineingefressen hatte, schlug ich mit aller Kraft die ich hatte, auf den Wolf mit der umgekehrten Peitsche zu; er erschrak, und sprang vorwärts; der Rest des Pferdes stürzte hin, der Wolf war in den Seilen, und konnte nicht zurük, ich peitschte immer stärker, er lief wie rasend fort, und so fuhr ich in Petersburg hinein.


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