War and the Big Picture

As we skitter towards another Continental war that may finally see the end of our country let us look back to the start of our ruin. If enough can understand what 1914 cost us then perhaps we can turn back, even now.

There are over 100,000 war memorials in the UK erected in memory of our soldiers killed in WWI. They were paid for by local communities not by the Government.

Each name on the stone cross is someone who might otherwise have lived a humble and productive everyday life. Moreover, someone who was fit enough to fight, which in some places put them in a minority: AI says we discovered how Britain had been failing the people at the call-up for the Second Boer War (1899–1902):

Roughly 30% to 40% of British recruits—and up to 60% to 90% in impoverished industrial cities—were physically unfit for military service due to malnutrition, rickets, and poor health.

Across the nation locally we grieve on Remembrance Sunday and important people lay wreaths on the Cenotaph in Whitehall.

Yet one British PM after another bangs the drum for Ukraine - that and abandoning the strategically important Chagos Islands are two of the few early significant commitments made by our current, Brezhnev-eyebrowed Andy Pandy. Who takes our Premiers aside and gives them their starting orders?

What were (some of) the (social) consequences of the Great War?

Over 700,000 British servicemen dead, with another couple of hundred thousand from the wider Empire. Add in the prisoners, wounded and crippled and the toll rises to some three million, for our side alone.

So many widows and bereaved mothers. So many with disabled and disfigured husbands. How many who never even had the opportunity of marriage and family life?

As common soldier Michael Williams tells the incognito King Henry V:

But if the cause be not good, the King himself hath a heavy reckoning to make, when all those legs and arms and heads, chopped off in a battle, shall join together at the latter day, and cry all “We died at such a place,” some swearing, some crying for a surgeon, some upon their wives left poor behind them, some upon the debts they owe, some upon their children rawly left.

Henry replies that it is for men to sort out their own lives so they can if need be, die with a clear conscience. There, that was easy! You won’t out-talk a politician.

But surely there had to be some compelling reason for us to declare war on Germany in August 1914?

Mmmm… not exactly.

Germany wanted to expand into Russia whose naval/military weakness had been highlighted ten years earlier when beaten in a war with Japan. To avoid having to fight on two fronts the German strategy was first to defeat France within a few weeks before Russia could mobilise sufficiently to resist an invasion by the Kaiser’s armies.

France had been defeated in the Franco-Prussian War of 1870-71 and fear of France had helped persuade southern Germanic States to join what then became a large unified Germany.

The French were heavily fortified along their common border with Germany, so the latter’s Schlieffen Plan was to cut through Belgium instead and then head for Paris. The French thought they could halt German forces in Belgium and counter-strike through the French-German border with Berlin in their sights.

What did this tussle have to do with us and our global, sea-based empire?

We had to cast around for a justification, a casus belli. We found it in the multinational 1839 Treaty of London that guaranteed majority-Catholic Belgium’s independence from the Protestant Netherlands.

Not all the British Cabinet was aware of the determination of certain parties within and outside the Government to get involved. But the military correspondent of the Times, Colonel Repington was okayed by Lord Esher and Sir George Clarke at the War Office to open negotiations with the French Government, seeking an assurance from the French that France would not be the first to violate Belgian neutrality and telling them that whoever did so would “automatically” bring us into the field in defence of our treaty obligations. This had never previously been officially confirmed.

Nor was the prospect of British assistance initially welcomed by the French. In 1910 the future Marshal of France Ferdinand Foch was asked what minimum size of force we would need to send to help and he replied “A single British soldier - and we will see to it that he will be killed.”

In 1912 Viscount Haldane went to Germany to secure an agreement that they would keep their navy smaller than ours; for that they demanded a guarantee of British neutrality in the event of a Franco-British war, which was not offered. Haldane came away convinced that

“once the German war party had got into the saddle it would be war not merely for the overthrow of France or Russia but for the domination of the world.”

So all our stone crosses mark the consequences of a geopolitical strategy first systematically described by a British geographer in 1904; about which more anon.

………………………

The latter half of this post draws on Chapter Three of Barbara Tuchman’s meticulous study “The Guns of August” - thanks to Peter Hitchens for the lead.

Modern echoes of Roman Britain

Robin Fleming’s “Britain After Rome” begins with a sketch of our pre-410 AD history as a colony of the Roman Empire.

For a couple of centuries we had a disproportionately large share of Rome’s imperial legions. To support it there were massive imports of basic supplies but also a privately-run trade in luxuries carried (for free?) in the same ships. Towns sprang up, complete with public amenities such as baths and basilica.

Then in the third century the Empire had increasing problems with barbarian tribes on its borders. The armed forces in Britain were scaled back and redeployed on the Continent. Less wine and olive oil here, more beer and butter; less foreign pottery, more locally made Samian ware.

Things stabilised in the fourth century but did not return to the prosperity of old times. Towns withered and their population declined; the baths and basilica available to the better sort of Romano-British ceased to operate.

But disparity in wealth grew. Fine big villas were built, some within the areas vacated in the towns. A fortunate minority had private bathing pools in their mansions, and reception rooms designed to impress visitors and business associates with their classical mosaics, pictures and fabrics. This was the age of bureaucrats and administrators, living in a bubble protected from the great unwashed outside.

Until the Empire fell.

“History does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.” 

Cooking Fat: cats being disgusting

The fat item who has been sponging off us for years has rewarded us with a technicolour yawn not once but twice in recent days.

First I came down to the kitchen to make the morning brew and there along the fortunately wipe-clean floor were what you might call “islands in the stream.” Much kitchen roll and antibac, floor mop after. Perhaps cats were sent to make us houseproud.

Yesterday I’m shaving upstairs and hear a rhythmic hoicking down in the hallway. Shouting from a distance stops nothing. This time the gift was on the mat under the radiator, so a paper towel scoop-up and the mat flung into the washing machine sorted it. That was easy, hey?

This morning it’s tea time again and I am about to check the shower in the garden room so put my feet into the worn old deck shoes I keep under the stairs and use as slippers. Or rather, my right foot. Squelch. Round Two. There it is, inside and outside, on the carpet offcut and a bit on the vacuum cleaner hose. Scoop scoop, wipe wipe, spray spray. Shoes now bumping in the washing machine; we’re still uncertain whether we can launder the offcut.

Isn’t nature wonderful?

War with Russia: before the bullshit tsunami hits

It’s only the other side that does propaganda and our government is stepping up to protect us from it. So PM Burnham has just told the UN that we are setting up a new National Centre for Information Defence.

Already some are dubbing it “Mini Truth” after Orwell’s corporate fountainhead of lies in “1984” and so Defence Secretary Wes Streeting insists that it will not be used for “policing domestic political dissent.” He doesn’t say that we do that already by other means including plodettes rapping your front door merely for viewing a social media post.

That doesn’t go far enough for Paul Richards, Labour commentator, speechwriter, erstwhile Parliamentary candidate and currently the treasurer of the subversive-socialist Fabian Society. Richards says:

“The British will rise to greatness against Russia. We would have to lock a few people up….pro-Russian voices, people who say there isn’t a threat, don’t fight for your country, that don’t go to war for Burnham.“

“Rise to greatness”… authentic meaningless bullshit. But then he’s a speechwriter.

We’re not yet at war with Russia, formally. How, I don’t know, given what we’re already doing for and in Ukraine. Time was we had the decency to declare a war before we started fighting it.

But once it’s “game on” what fun will the Government have with us! Decades of starving our armed forces have left us unable to tackle a paw-shaking kitten abroad but woe unto any placard-waver who protests at home.

Perhaps this is why so many prisoners have been released early; the authorities say it is because of overcrowding and yet we have found space for 38,000 illegal immigrants in the twelve months to June 2026. Make my hotel a three-star, please; no allergies but I prefer not to eat shellfish.

Forewarning: if Burnham, Richards and the rest of our neo-Brownshorts decide to get seriously tough on dissidents and I can’t get to the airport in time, look out for my jingoistic support for any appalling crime HMG chooses to inflict on our people. My codeword to tell you that I don’t mean a word of it will be “Eulalie” meaning “up yours, Spode-Burnham, Spode-Richards…”

… and, tragically, Spode-Rees-Mogg. Surely this sober Catholic Conservative grandee cannot have fallen for the murderous war hysteria - “Who would not weep, if Atticus were he?” But he has:

“In the next few years we may face a war. And if we face a war, we will need people who will join the armed services and who will go out and do their duty (...) people have to die to save their country as they did in the First and Second World Wars.”

Ah now, that opens a can of worms. In each of those cases we were the ones to declare war on Germany and in neither case had the Germans been previously intent on destroying us; their eyes were turned eastwards.

Our twentieth century wars have brought us to our present sorry state, close to collapse even before the “intermittent drizzle of malignant robots” begins. And for why, this inhuman destruction of human happiness and prosperity?

Geopolitics.

I shall trace the history of this cartographers’ slaughter mission in another post.

Unless I am prevented, in which case “Eulalie!”

AI advice for doomscrollers

Here are some AI thoughts for a less than cheery scenario. Don’t blame me!

Q: We are British pensioners. In the event of a European war with Russia and economic disaster in the UK in which foreign country are we likely to be accepted and safe? And where should we invest what is left of our savings?

Ans. 1 (from Google’s Gemini):

In the event of a large-scale European war and a severe domestic economic crisis, the safest and most legally accessible foreign countries for British pensioners are geographically isolated nations outside of Europe that offer structured retirement pathways, while the optimal investment strategy focuses heavily on global safe-haven assets decoupled from the UK economy.

Navigating such a severe scenario requires balancing your physical safety, immigration pathways, and financial preservation.

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🔎 Part 1: Where You Are Likely to Be Accepted and Safe

A direct war with Russia would heavily impact continental Europe, eliminating traditional British retirement havens like Spain, France, or Cyprus due to their proximity to the conflict zone and NATO alignment.

To achieve maximum safety and a realistic immigration pathway post-Brexit, look to the Americas or specific insulated regions:

1. Panama 🇵🇦 (Top Recommendation)

• Safety: Geographically distant from European conflict, strictly neutral, and outside any missile ranges.

• Acceptance: Offers the Pensionado Visa, globally recognized as the most accessible retirement visa. It requires a guaranteed lifetime pension of just $1,000 USD (approx. £760) per month.

• Perks: Grants steep, government-mandated discounts on healthcare, utilities, dining, and entertainment. [1]

2. Canada or New Zealand 🇨🇦 🇳🇿

• Safety: Exceptionally safe, stable democracies with massive geographic insulation.

• Acceptance: Neither country offers a simple “pensioner visa” for ordinary retirees. However, they are highly viable if you have direct family ties (children or siblings) who can sponsor you through family reunification pathways.

• Risks: New Zealand will freeze your UK State Pension at its current cash value (no annual Triple Lock increases). [1, 2]

3. Costa Rica 🇨🇷

• Safety: Known as the “Switzerland of Central America,” it has no standing military, a deeply peaceful culture, and zero involvement in European geopolitics.

• Acceptance: The Pensionado program requires a stable retirement income of $1,000 USD per month.

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📊 Part 2: Where to Invest What is Left of Your Savings

In a UK economic disaster, Sterling (£) would likely plummet in value, and UK-centric banks or property markets would face severe distress. To protect your purchasing power abroad, your capital must be diversified out of the UK and into global safe havens: [1]

1. Hard Safe-Haven Currencies 💵 🇨🇭

Do not hold your wealth in Pounds. Convert liquid cash into currencies traditionally resilient to geopolitical collapse:

• US Dollar (USD): The world’s primary reserve currency and the official currency of Panama and Ecuador.

• Swiss Franc (CHF): Backed by a fiercely neutral nation with a history of weathering European conflicts intact.

2. Physical Gold 🪙

• Why: Gold has zero counterparty risk and cannot be inflated away by a central bank during economic ruin.

• Execution: Hold physical gold or invest via physically backed Gold ETFs (such as iShares Physical Gold) stored in secure, non-UK vaults (e.g., Zurich or Singapore). [1]

3. Globally Diversified, Non-UK Index Funds 📈

• Why: Avoid domestic UK equities (FTSE). If the UK economy crashes, global corporations will still generate revenue elsewhere.

• Execution: Move your investment or brokerage accounts into a World Index Fund (Ex-UK) or an S&P 500 ETF denominated in US Dollars. This ensures your wealth is tied to the performance of global mega-corporations rather than the British economy. [1, 2]

4. Short-Term US Treasury Bills (T-Bills) 🇺🇸

• Why: Backed by the US government, these are widely considered the safest debt instruments in the world during wartime. They provide a reliable, low-risk yield paid out in US Dollars. [1]

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⚠️ Critical “Order of Operations” for British Pensioners

1. Expatriate Your Capital First: Open an international or offshore bank account (such as in the Channel Islands or the Isle of Man) that allows you to hold multiple currencies (USD/EUR/CHF) outside the immediate UK domestic retail banking system.

2. Secure Private Healthcare: If you leave the UK, you lose access to the NHS. Ensure any destination you choose has a high-quality private healthcare network, and ensure you factor international health insurance into your budget. [1, 2]

3. Audit Your Pension Mechanics: Check whether your private or state pension providers pay out to foreign bank accounts, and be aware of the “frozen pension” rules depending on your chosen country. [1, 2]

Ans. 2 (from Grok):

Ireland stands out as the most practical option for British pensioners seeking acceptance and relative safety in a European conflict involving Russia, combined with UK economic turmoil. Switzerland is another strong European neutral candidate (though harder to access), while distant options like New Zealand or Canada offer geographic isolation but face significant residency barriers and often freeze the UK State Pension.

No place is risk-free in a major European war. NATO involvement would pull in most of the continent; economic shocks, supply disruptions, energy issues, and refugee flows would affect neighbours. Pure military neutrality is rare and imperfect in practice (Switzerland and Ireland maintain policies of military non-alignment/neutrality, but both apply sanctions and face strategic pressures). Geographic distance helps more than formal neutrality alone for pure physical safety from conventional fighting.

Why Ireland ranks highly for British pensioners

• Acceptance and ease of move: Under the long-standing Common Travel Area (CTA), British citizens can live, work, and access many services in Ireland without a visa or residency permit. This is uniquely straightforward post-Brexit—no points system, income thresholds for entry, or complex applications. You can relocate relatively quickly.

• Safety and neutrality: Ireland ranks among Europe’s safer and more peaceful countries (high Global Peace Index scores). It is not a NATO member and maintains a policy of military neutrality. It is geographically somewhat peripheral (island nation). Crime is low in most areas; it is culturally familiar, English-speaking, and has established British communities.

• Practicalities for pensioners: UK State Pension continues to be paid and is uprated annually (as in EEA countries and those with reciprocal agreements). Access to healthcare and certain social supports is facilitated under CTA arrangements (though you should verify habitual residence rules for full benefits). Cost of living is higher than southern Europe but lower than Switzerland; proximity to the UK aids family visits and logistics.

• Drawbacks: Not the cheapest; weather is similar to the UK; healthcare has waiting lists (private insurance is wise); Ireland is still European and could face secondary effects (energy, trade, cyber, refugee pressure).

Switzerland is the classic neutral (permanent armed neutrality since 1815, high safety rankings). It is stable, wealthy, and well-defended, with excellent healthcare. However, post-Brexit UK nationals are treated as third-country nationals. Retirement residency (non-lucrative permit, typically for those 55+) is discretionary, requires proof of sufficient independent means (well above social-assistance levels), and usually “special personal ties” to Switzerland (prior stays, family, etc.). Quotas and cantonal approval apply; it is expensive. Pension uprating continues.

Other European options popular with British retirees (Portugal, Spain, Cyprus, Greece, Malta) offer easier visas (e.g., D7 passive-income or equivalent), lower costs, sun, British communities, uprated State Pensions (EU/EEA), and good healthcare access via S1 forms in many cases. They score highly in retirement rankings for lifestyle and value. They are not neutral, however, and would be more directly exposed in a continental conflict.

Outside Europe for greater distance:

• New Zealand or Canada: High safety, political stability, English-speaking, Commonwealth ties. Geographic isolation reduces direct war risk. Residency is difficult for pure retirees—no straightforward retirement visas; pathways often require family sponsorship, substantial investment, or skilled-work routes with age disadvantages. UK State Pension is typically frozen (no annual uprating). Australia is similarly hard (retirement visas closed; parent visas costly and slow) with frozen pensions.

• Lower-cost non-European spots (Thailand, Malaysia, Panama, etc.) appear in retirement lists for affordability but freeze the pension, have variable long-term visa stability, and different healthcare/safety profiles.

Realistic caveats: Acceptance depends on individual circumstances (income, health, family ties). Wars create chaos—borders can close, transport disrupt, currencies swing. “Safe” is relative; prepare contingency plans, multiple residencies if possible, and monitor official advice. Economic disaster in the UK could involve inflation, banking stress, or capital controls—diversify early.

Investing remaining savings

This is not personalised financial advice. Rules, taxes, and markets change; seek regulated independent advice (e.g., via a UK-regulated adviser familiar with cross-border issues, or local equivalents). Consider your risk tolerance, time horizon, healthcare needs, and currency exposure. Past performance is no guide to the future.

Core principles for retirees facing uncertainty (geopolitical + economic stress):

• Diversification across asset classes, geographies, and currencies is the main defence. Avoid concentrating everything in UK assets or sterling.

• Preserve purchasing power and liquidity: Keep emergency cash (or near-cash) in stable currencies covering 1–3+ years of spending. Inflation and currency depreciation are key risks in economic turmoil.

• Defensive and real assets: A modest allocation to gold (or other precious metals) is commonly discussed by analysts as a portfolio diversifier and crisis hedge—historically low correlation to equities/bonds in stress periods, and a store of value when currencies or confidence weaken. Typical suggested ranges from various sources are low-to-mid single digits up to around 5–10% (sometimes higher in more aggressive views); size it so a sharp drop is tolerable. Physical bullion, ETFs, or allocated accounts each have storage, liquidity, and tax trade-offs.

• Quality equities and income: Broad global equity exposure (especially non-UK/European) for long-term growth, tilted toward quality companies with pricing power. Dividend or income-focused holdings for cash flow. Bonds (especially short-duration or inflation-linked in stronger currencies) for ballast, though real yields and sovereign risks matter.

• Other real assets: Some exposure to property (carefully, given local markets and liquidity) or commodities can help, but property abroad adds complexity (taxes, maintenance, currency).

• Currency and location: If relocating, align investments with living costs (e.g., euro assets for Ireland). Use multi-currency accounts or specialists for transfers. Be aware of tax residency rules, double-tax treaties, and reporting (UK still has interests in many overseas arrangements).

• Pensions specifically: State Pension can usually be paid abroad (uprated in Ireland/Switzerland/EEA; frozen in many others). Private/workplace pensions can often stay in the UK and be drawn internationally, or considered for QROPS transfer (complex, potential charges, limited options, HMRC rules tightened). Professional advice is essential—transfers can trigger tax and lose protections.

• Avoid: Heavy concentration in any single asset, speculative bets, or products you do not understand. High fees erode returns. Scams proliferate in uncertain times.

Practical next steps: Review total net worth, spending needs, and risk capacity with an adviser. Stress-test portfolios for inflation, currency falls, and equity drawdowns. Keep documents (passports, pension details, wills) accessible and consider dual residency or contingency locations early. Monitor official sources (gov.uk, foreign ministries) rather than speculation.

Circumstances change; the most resilient approach combines practical mobility (Ireland’s ease is a major advantage), diversified real assets, and professional guidance tailored to your situation.

Raving at St Paul’s, by Sackerson

The management of St Paul’s Cathedral have signed a four-year deal with a nightclub called Fabric to use the premises for entertainments.

On Twitter/X the Mayor of London Sir Sadiq Khan welcomed this decision:

Fabric. St Paul’s Cathedral. Name a more iconic duo.

Bringing together these two institutions will create a one-of-a-kind experience, pairing world-class music with one of our most special landmarks.

But it wasn’t his call and although one suspects that as a Muslim he may have enjoyed seeing how easily the kuffar can be bribed into desecrating one of their houses of worship, answerability lies with the Christians alone.

The public offence it has caused is for two reasons.

Firstly, St Paul’s is a national monument sacred to the memory of many of our great people - naval, military, scientific, literary and so on. As such it is a special place and there are things you simply do not do.

A similarly “iconic” site is Lutens’ Cenotaph, built in 1919-1920 to honour those who fell in the “war to end all wars.” In 2011 when Charlie Gilmour swung on a Union Jack from the Cenotaph his adoptive father’s fame as a rock musician did not save Charlie from a prison sentence. Nor did his claim - as a 21-year-old Cambridge student - not to know what the Cenotaph was; nor his attempt to recruit the war dead as his political allies (“Those who are commemorated by the Cenotaph died to protect the very freedoms that allow the people of Britain the right to protest.”)

But St Paul’s is also a sacred place for Christian religious worship. Secular activities are literally profane - “away from the temple.” All four Gospels in the New Testament describe how Jesus entered the Temple in Jerusalem and drove out the merchants and those who exchanged money for coinage that was ritually acceptable as offerings.

An American bishop states the central issue here:

“This development simply shows that the leadership of the Church of England has lost any sense of the crucial distinction between the sacred and the secular.”

If that is so then the people drawing salaries and accruing pension rights as religious functionaries and their assistants need to reconsider their positions. As Jesus told his followers:

“Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.”

Another X commentator tells us the secularism is not new: “They rent out the crypt containing Lord Nelson & Duke of wellington graves for corporate drinks parties on top. They claim building itself needs more than £60 million of repairs over the next decade.”

If St Paul’s is nothing more than an entertainment venue requiring physical maintenance then we cannot deplore Osama bin Laden’s remark “When people see a strong horse and a weak horse, by nature they will like the strong horse.”

As Milton said, “The hungry sheep look up, and are not fed” and they will turn elsewhere: other religions, magic, millenarian socialism or various kinds of self-destruction.

In this as in other matters, we seem to be approaching a moment of decision.

Ukraine: Empire wars, by Sackerson

What’s been going on in Ukraine is an extension of a scheme of imperial conflict outlined in a 1904 talk by a man called Mackinder: “The geographical pivot of history.” More on this later.
Meanwhile here is something I wrote back in 2014 about plans to develop Eurasia for the benefit of Russia, Iran and other powers.
…………………..
Russia’s big plans?If we are to understand them, we have to look behind the horrible events in Ukraine - for which the West may turn out to be be partly responsible, if Peter Hitchens is right about the CIA’s Director being spotted in Kiev a couple of weeks ago.

What’s the big picture?

How about, Russia’s future as a non-EU European country?

For all its vastness, the land is far more heavily populated in the West, as hardly anyone wants to live in the cruel cold of the Siberian winter:

(Source)

Then, how about the customs union between Russia, Belarus and Kazakhstan that started in January 2010, which could be the seed crystal of a sort of eastern EU?

And the massive blue-sky concept, mooted in 2008, of a Trans-Asian Corridor of Development? Here’s a map of how it could look:

(pic source)

On a less gigantic scale, there is the long-proposed Eurasia Canal project, linking the Black Sea to the Caspian via Georgia:

(source)

This was reportedly delayed in 2011, pending the development of cargo facilities in Kazakhstan.

A company called Yaconto LLC had ambitious plans along the same lines, with a naval base at Tuapse (two hours’ drive from Sochi, on the Black Sea):

Yaconto (founded by a Sergey P Yakunin) appears to have ceased trading, but it’s interesting to note that further up the same coastline is the port of Novorossiysk, which has indeed been developed, as I noted in an earlier post:

(pic source)

As part of his integrated plan, Yakunin also proposed the construction of a second waterway parallel to the Bosphorus, to ease shipping between the Black Sea and the Mediterranean. The last couple of paragraphs refer darkly to potential interference from the corrupt elite in Russia and perhaps this is what has happened after all. (Nevertheless, last year Turkey announced its determination to continue with its own similar plan for a “Kanal Istanbul”.)

And three days ago, President Putin told officials to come up with a plan to develop Russia’s Black Sea fleet.

Like China, Russia is under pressure to maintain economic momentum, like a fox with its tail on fire. Her aim - perhaps unattainable - is to achieve 7% pa GDP growth to 2020: have a look at these briefings from the Center for Strategic and International Studies. There’s a long list of challenges to be overcome, including corruption and ineffective law and regulation.

As with China, a rapidly-growing economy is needed to tackle a host of problems, not least demographic challenges. There’s a danger of collapse if their economies stall.

We can only hope that this is not the West’s intention.

Some previous BOM posts on Russia:

http://theylaughedatnoah.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/battle-for-black-sea.html

http://theylaughedatnoah.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/ukraine-belarus-gets-message.html

http://theylaughedatnoah.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/ukraine-never-mind-fascism-taunts.html

http://theylaughedatnoah.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/ukraine-is-it-just-business-plan.html

http://theylaughedatnoah.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/from-sochi-to-sevastopol.html

There and back again

We start with going down the park.

The lockable bollards have been pulled up and discarded; the grass has been churned up by tyres and there is rubbish all over the place. Travellers have visited, we assume.

Thee are crows all over the place, too. We walk to the usual spot and dump cut-up chicken scraps and leftover couscous salad. The birds lose no time getting stuck in, though only a minority; the rest are hungry spectators. Alphas and betas, eh.

An Asian man walks past, his little boy proudly showing us a found pound in his fist. The man says he’s been off work for a week and spent his last twenty on fuel for his taxi; he’s not sure what he’s going to earn in the next few days.

And so to Stratford.

The waterside market has many stalls selling clothes, knick-knacks and food. We order a couple of somosas from a Sikh and while they are being prepared by his assistant we chat. Some of the things he says:

• All cities should be like this (S-on-A, on a jolly Bank Holiday.)

• He doesn’t like what’s happening to Birmingham (he lives not far fom us). He lowers his voice and says they’re letting too many in.

• He is disconcerted to learn that the large pub across from our house has been turned into a mosque. He’d seen the refurbishing and thought another brewery was taking over.

• The young need employment. His helper turns out to be his son who got a first class honours degree in biomedical science and now can’t get a job.

• I say there’s rumours of another general election, maybe this October. He says we don’t need a change of government, we need action.

We buy a paper bag of swan food from a kiosk by the river. One swan pecks three others; the corrupting effects of charity. They follow us as we move downriver.

We get on the last hand-operated chain ferry in Britain. One passenger has a little dog and is carrying a two-foot bull’s pizzle that the dog had claimed with joy as soon as he saw it. The man says the bottom bit is bone but bull penises don’t have one.

Halfway across I tell my wife to drop her phone and passport in the stream. She says I won’t pass for fifteen; I reply that I’ve shaved.

And so back to home, and reality.

Duck Fighting Man

You can get a specially pepared food for aquatic birds; it floats. So let’s go feed them.

When they see us approaching the lake the ducks start sailing towards us. Whether it’s spotting the plastic bag or recognising our faces, I’m not sure.

The crows in another park certainly know us, cawing and gathering as we walk up with our leftover bread and pasta. They used to be very hesitant about tucking in, waiting till we were well clear, but not so much now.

On the water we’ve hardly begun and already one or two ducks are quacking aggressively and pecking at others’ feathers, sometimes even before starting to eat.

Then come the coots. They used to be bullied by the ducks but since they had chicks the tables have turned and their sharp beaks drive a path clear to the goodies.

Little gulls notice the activity and storm in like gangsters, landing as a group right in the middle of the food with resonant ploomps and screaming.

When the swans turn up everybody backs off and lets them hoover it all up.

Lately a pigeon and a couple of crows have started to hang aound on the off chance of snagging a stray pellet or two.

So our kind intentions always turn a peaceful scene into mayhem and a guilty feeling of having provoked disorder with our philanthropy philornithy. Somehow it sets me thinking about the Welfare State.

The Multi-Warhead Swap Shop

Are we at war with Russia? We may be about to find out in the worst way.

But so far technically no, we have not declared war.

What does it take?

We’ve only supplied Ukraine with intelligence, money and weapons including the Storm Shadow cruise missile whose blueprints we are about to hand Zelensky so he can make his own. injected our special forces troops into the country and told Z yet again that we are with him all the way.

Our PM, the latest incarnation of Cool Britannia, celebrated Ukraine’s independence day by strumming his support for the fight against Russia’s neo-Nazism.

Burnham is dead to irony. Eight days ago Zelensky personally participated in the reburial ceremony for Yehven Konovalets (who founded the nationalist OUN) and glorified him as a national hero.

Konovalets is feted by the Azov movement a racist and ultranationalist group whose name indicated the intention to drive out Ukraine’s Russian-speaking population from the Donbas, an area stretching from the Dnipro river to the shores of the Sea of Azov. Another “from the river to the sea” project you may say, but without the fashionable Jew-killer pro-Palestinian keffiyeh to sport round one’s neck.

But the Azov Brigade was merged into the National Guard of Ukraine in 2014 and so according to the BBC at the time Russia’s accusation that the Kiev regime is a “fascist junta” was “demonstrably false” and Ukraine could not be anti-semitic because Zelensky, then the speaker of its Parliament, is a Jew.

Unfortunately the Azov lot since returned to prominence and according to Wikipedia has “drawn controversy over its early and allegedly continuing association with far-right groups and neo-Nazi ideology, its use of controversial symbols linked to Nazism, and early allegations that members of the unit participated in human rights violations.”

Thanks to Britain’s intensifying its provocation support for Ukraine Russia has recently recalled its ambassador to the UK amid threats to retaliate by striking at our drone factories.

It can’t happen here, sang Frank Zappa.

Don’t you believe it. It took the Russians eight years from 2014 to decide to invade Ukraine, rightly or wrongly. Now they appear to be carefully deliberating their response to us, and the chief of the CIA flew to Moscow yesterday. Let’s hope his diplomacy succeeds where the blundering of our own clueless amateurs has been failing.