Nailing The Jelly: PMQs 18th March 2026

If you can’t nail a jelly to the ceiling you can catch it in a bowl.

Kemi Badenoch has recently grasped the power of relentless persistence and yesterday used all her six questions to trap Starmer into a blatant display of truth-dodging that has lit up the MSM as well as the internet.

KB (1): … did he personally speak to Peter Mandelson about his relationship with the convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein before appointing him as our ambassador to Washington?

PM: … mistake … process … Iran …

KB (2): … did he speak to Peter Mandelson about that [Epstein] before the appointment? Yes or no?

PM: … Mandelson was asked questions and gave untruthful replies… Iran…

KB (3): … The Prime Minister told us on the record that he “believed the lies” that Mandelson told him, but if he did not speak to him, how can he say that?

PM: The process is clear… [KB] appointed Nick Timothy… [who] said last night that Muslims praying in public [was] an “act of domination”… she should sack him.

KB (4): We can only assume that he did not speak to Peter Mandelson. [Starmer] left the questioning… to two of Mandelson’s closest friends, one of whom was also friends with a convicted paedophile. Asking those questions should have been his job. Why did he fail to do his duty?

PM: … shadow Justice Secretary … Muslims … Even Tommy Robinson … [Badenoch] is too weak and has absolutely no judgment.

KB (5): … The Prime Minister knew that Mandelson had kept up a relationship with Jeffrey Epstein… had been warned about appointing Mandelson. He claims he was lied to. Mandelson had twice been fired for dishonesty, so why did the Prime Minister believe Peter Mandelson over the vetting documents?

PM: … Hindus … Jews … Christians … Muslims praying … the Tory party has a problem with Muslims -

[Interruption.]

Mr Speaker: Order. May I just say that I am not responsible for the answers? I just have to say that.

KB (6): … [Starmer] appointed Peter Mandelson, but did not bother to ask the questions. If he cannot be straight with the House on something as simple as this, why should we believe a word he says about anything?

PM: [Badenoch] said we should rush into war … NATO … Greenland … Iran … failure to condemn and sack -

[Interruption.]

Mr Speaker: Order. I repeat that I am not responsible for the answers, but this is certainly not Opposition questions.

PM: - the shadow Justice Secretary for the poison and division that he spreads. It is turning out to be quite a month for the Leader of the Opposition who claims that she never makes any mistakes.

Minutes later:

Andrew Snowden (Con): Every week, the Prime Minister comes to the Chamber and reads out this pre-scripted nonsense that bears no resemblance to the questions that he is actually asked… So I ask him again: … did he speak to Lord Mandelson personally before appointing him as ambassador to the United States?

PM: We have set out the process … Opposition Members do not want to talk about the war … Nor do they want to talk about the shadow Justice Secretary saying that Muslims are not welcome to pray in Trafalgar Square. The Leader of the Opposition should remove him from the Front Bench, or I suspect he will be sitting up on the Reform Bench next.

**************************

This sh*tshow generated multiple POOs (Points Of Order).

Sir Julian Lewis (Con), Paul Holmes (Con), Sir John Hayes (Con) all asked in various ways what could be done to make Ministers give answers relevant to the questions put.

The Speaker refused to be drawn, saying that the first was not a Point Of Order, the next had “a real weakness… because there is an assumption that the person knows the answer” and Sir John was “just continuing a debate that I think I have already given the answers to.”

Dawn Butler (Lab), MP for two decades and former Gordon Brown PS loyally used a Point Of Order to help the PM muddy the waters by asking whether it brought Parliament into disrepute when Badenoch stated (according to Ms Butler) it was “following British values to attack Muslims praying.”

That was a distortion: nobody denies the general right of Muslims to pray, which they can and do anywhere if it does not seriously inconvenience others; but the shadow Justice Secretary had described (not in Parliament) a mass Muslim prayer event in Trafalar Square as “an act of domination” and in PMQs Badenoch had stated he was “defending British values.” For Muslims there is no discontinuity between religion and politics. That event was certainly not the first assertion of their political strength and will equally surely not be the last. A Justice Secretary’s brief includes dealing with issues of public order. The local elections on May 7th will give us plenty to discuss.

Mr Speaker: “This is an important point: we need tolerance, and it is about respecting one another. You have put your point on the record, but I am not going to enter into a debate. I will leave it at that for the moment.”

Some are beginning to think that Sir Lindsay Hoyle, former Labour MP for Chorley and himself the son of a Lancashire Labour MP may be, despite his habitual and commendable defence of Parliament’s privileges and traditions, overly reluctant to persuade the PM to be fully honest with the Opposition.

But Starmer’s habitual contempt for PMQs protocol was so outrageous on this occasion that we wonder whether he can continue in office even as far as May 7th.

If he does, and more, perhaps we are lost instead.

Drinker's Diet

From “History Defined”:

In the 1600s, some monks in Germany only drank beer and water during their 40-day fast for lent. They concocted an “unusually strong” brew, full of carbohydrates and nutrients.

In 2011, a journalist attempted to re-create their fast. He lost 25 pounds during the ordeal.

Fom “Empires Unchained”:

The beer the monks developed for this purpose still exists and is still brewed by the same institution.

The Paulaner brewery in Munich traces its origin directly to the Minim friars of Neudeck ob der Au, who began brewing their Salvator doppelbock in the 17th century specifically as liquid sustenance during Lenten fasting.

The name Salvator reflected its quasi-sacramental purpose.

When the monastery was secularized in 1799 during the Napoleonic reorganization of Bavaria, the monks’ brewing operation was sold off and eventually became one of the founding breweries of what is now a major commercial operation.

The strong dark bock style they developed for religious austerity became so popular with Munich’s secular population that other breweries copied it, the suffix “ator” on any German doppelbock name, from Optimator to Celebrator, is a direct commercial tribute to the monks’ fasting beer.

A brewing tradition invented for self-denial became one of the most commercially imitated beer styles in Germany.

And you can still get it; whether you should is another matter. Another example of Not Safe For Work?

Hannah Spencer's Maiden Speech

Her clothes got all the MSM comment, but then so did Disraeli’s flamboyant dress. We could do with some brightening up in Parliament to offset the soberly-clad, dangerous dullard of a PM who bores and bullies us.

Her speech, delivered on International Women’s Day, is quite charming. and gives recognition to men also:

Four weeks ago today, I was in college, a plumber learning how to plaster, and today I am in Parliament as an MP. Being here is the honour of my life, but I do not want this to be unusual or exceptional. I truly believe that anyone doing a job like mine should get a seat on these Benches.

Where I am from, we are taught to look after each other, to look out for each other, to stick up for each other and to stick together—to see each other as human. I am so proud of that humanity and that people in Gorton, Denton, Burnage, Levenshulme, Longsight and Abbey Hey feel that way too. It is in our blood and in our bones—we see each other as human.

Where I am from, we give a nod to the statue of Emmeline Pankhurst. We remember the farm worker and seamstress Hannah Mitchell, the trade unionist Mary Quaile and the mill worker Annie Kenney—and, of course, Elsie Plant, who is from just down the road from me and who I named one of my beautiful greyhounds after. I think of these brilliant women a lot, and especially today as we debate International Women’s Day.

I think of many others, too, from pits, slums and factories; the women who changed the system so that I could be here; the women of colour whose names we will never know because history did not bother to recognise or remember them. But we do today, because without their struggle, their fight and their determination to stick together, none of this could be possible. It is bittersweet to recognise these brilliant people but to be reminded that we still need to try to be them.

The constituency that elected me is the 15th most deprived in the country. It has suffered decades of neglect and broken promises. We see that every day right in front of us, in the litter and fly-tipping, the state of housing, the struggle for a job you can build a life on, the filthy and polluted air, and the reduced life chances—the sheer unfairness of it all.

My constituency has been hit hard by the ongoing cost of living crisis. None of this is fair, none of it is right and none of it happens by accident. So I very much share my predecessor’s strong commitment to tackling health inequalities and putting local people and all our communities at the heart of decision making. That is how we begin to turn things around, to give people agency and a genuine chance of a better today and a better tomorrow.

To the girls I saw photos of, going to school on International Women’s Day dressed as Hannah the Plumber, with their overalls and spanners, and the trademark hair. To the 10-year-old boy at HideOut who rock-climbed an incredibly high wall with me, saw me become suddenly very terrified of how far up I was, and said, “Don’t ever give up. And if it’s scary looking down then just look at what’s in front of you.”

To the women in my life who have had my back and fought for equality alongside me. To the men I work with—especially the lads on my plastering course, who dealt very well with my new-found spotlight in the middle of our training. To those men who will suffer the effects of this unequal society through their mental health. To the veterans I know who were willing to risk everything, and came home and found that society was turning its back on them.

To the white working classes, who are always lumped into one group and never appreciated. To everyone who will have nowhere to sleep tonight, or will barely exist in a cold, damp and insecure home. To my trans siblings who get blamed for everything. To the Muslims everywhere, who are constantly, and often violently, scapegoated. To the disabled people who cannot access the world because of structural inequality that is completely fixable. To the people of colour, who have to work harder at everything.

I do not always get it, and I will not say that I always understand it, but what I do know is what it feels like to be looked down on, to be let down and left behind, to be less worthy because of something about me. Our struggles may be different, but our humanity is the same. We always stick together, we always fight for each other, and that is what I want us to take forward from International Women’s Day, and to do that every single day.

The cleaners, bus drivers, nursery workers, foster carers, home carers, unpaid carers, teaching assistants, bin collectors, warehouse workers, delivery drivers, school dinner staff, lollipop wardens, supermarket workers, posties, library staff, kitchen porters, farm workers, mechanics, ground workers, scaffolders, electricians, plasterers and plumbers—we deserve to be here; every single one of us. And I will make space for you to come and join me, to get to have your say.

From the bustle of Longsight market, the many Irish pubs in Levy, Sue’s chippy, and Tony at California Wines in Gorton, to the amazing young people at HideOut, the best hash brown butty at Cafe Plus in Denton, and the women-led social enterprise at Dahlia Café on Burnage Lane—you are the best of our brilliant communities. I want to put Gorton and Denton on the map by championing the positives about our community: the spirit, the warmth, the grit, and the way we help each other out every single day. Whether it is our neighbours where we live, or our siblings in places like Afghanistan, Gaza, Sudan and Iran—wherever we are, we deserve to live freely as the human beings that we all are.

We do things differently in Manchester, and it makes me proud every single day. Now I want to make Abbey Hey, Levenshulme, Burnage, Longsight, Gorton and Denton proud of me. Thank you so much for putting your faith in this plumber and newly qualified plasterer. Together, we can make hope normal again, and we will look after each other, whoever we are, because where I am from, that is just what we do.

Naturally her membership of the Green Party is a concern, what with its odd leader “Zack Polanski” (né David Paulden) and its constituency of seeming incompatibles, but how could she - how could anyone now - possibly have joined Labour?

FRIDAY MUSIC: Hermanos Gutiérrez, by JD

Hermanos Gutiérrez is a Latin instrumental band formed in 2015 in Zürich by Ecuadorian-Swiss brothers Alejandro Gutiérrez and Estevan Gutiérrez. The US label Easy Eye Sound has released the band’s fifth album El Bueno y el Malo in 2022, and their sixth album Sonido Cósmico in 2024.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermanos_Guti%C3%A9rrez
https://www.hermanosgutierrez.ch/bio

Hermanos Gutiérrez - Esperanza (Official Video)

Hermanos Gutiérrez - “El Desierto” (Live at WFUV)

Hermanos Gutiérrez - “Pueblo Man” [Sessions]

Hermanos Gutierrez ‘Los Chicos Tristes’ - The Blues Kitchen Presents...

Hermanos Gutiérrez - Thunderbird. Teatro Vorterix - Buenos Aires 12/02/2026

Hermanos Gutierrez ‘El Bueno Y El Malo’ - The Blues Kitchen

FRIDAY MUSIC: Silly Wizard, by JD

Silly Wizard were a Scottish folk band that began forming in Edinburgh in 1970. The founder members were two like-minded university students—Gordon Jones, and Bob Thomas. In January 1972, Jones and Thomas formed a trio with their flatmate Bill Watkins and performed under various band names in Edinburgh folk clubs.

In the spring of 1972, Watkins returned to Birmingham and, in June 1972, Chris Pritchard (vocals) came in as his replacement. In July 1972, this newly formed trio were offered their first paid booking at the Burns Monument Hotel, Brig O’ Doon, Scotland, and needed a band name in a hurry. The name “Silly Wizard” was chosen and the continuing stream of bookings ensured that the name became permanent. In September 1972, the trio recruited Johnny Cunningham (1957–2003) (fiddle, viola, mandola, vocals)[1] and Silly Wizard started to take off.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silly_Wizard

Silly Wizard: Lover’s Heart

Silly Wizard Live - Donald McGillavry

The Ramblin’ Rover, Andy M. Stewart & Silly Wizard

Bridget O’Malley

Silly Wizard Live - Land O’ The Leal
“Scotland is one of the few places left that cigarettes and fried breakfasts are still good for you” - Andy M Stewart

This song was written by Lady Carolina Nairne of Perthshire, Scotland (1766-1845) in about 1798. The air that she set her words to is a very old Scottish tune. In “The Scottish Review,” Vol. 27, Pg. 115, published 1896, the air is called “Hey Now The Day Dawes.” Subsequently an “anonymous versifier” set lyrics to the tune, which became known as “Hey Tuttie Taitie” or “Hey Tuttie Tattie.” Robert Burns then set “Scots Wha Hae” to the tune, saying “I have met the tradition universally over Scotland, and particularly about Stirling, in the neighbourhood of the scene, that this air was Robert the Bruce’s March at the battle of Bannockburn, which was fought in 1314.”

Thereafter, Lady Nairne set “Land O’ The Leal” to the same tune. This information can be found in “The Scotish* Musical Museum, Consisting of Upwards of Six Hundred Songs, Vol. II,” published 1839, pages 162-168, which contains the musical notation for the original tune, “Hey Now The Day Dawes.” Please note that the lyrics to “Land O’ The Leal” are introduced with the statement: “The ingenious author still unknown to the editor.” The lyrics were later often attributed to Burns, until after Lady Nairne’s death, when her sister published, in 1846, her collected works in a book titled “Lays from Strathearn.”

Silly Wizard members in this clip:

Andy M. Stewart: lead vocals, tenor banjo, whistle
Phil Cunningham: accordion, piano, synthesizers, whistle, cittern, vocals
John Cunningham: fiddle, vocals
Gordon Jones: guitar, bodhran, vocals
Martin Hadden: bass guitar, keyboards, guitar, vocals.

Satanism is not a new moral panic

The internet is fizzing with demonisation of senior US political figures as the Epstein files are leaked. There are fantastic allegations of perversion and even cannibalism. Here in the UK it is possible to believe that our Prime Minister actually works to harm our country in several ways.

Can all this be simply the hysteria of ninnies?

Yet forty years ago Michael Bentine published a novel whose foreword reads in part:

I have been pondering for many years on my own encounters with the forces of evil during war and peace… newspaper headlines about drug smuggling, satanism and corruption in high places show daily that the kind of events described here are all too probable.

Bentine was a firm believer in the paranormal and yet was nobody’s fool. He was at the liberation of Belsen in 1945 and saw Hell there; like William Blake he believed heaven and hell are states of the human soul, but not merely that. Here he is in discussion with Bishop Richard Holloway (BBC1, 19 August 1988):

Either the spiritual cross-currents now flowing so vigorously are baloney or they’re not; if not, they scare me. There are reports of increased church attendance and conversions (ex-Muslim then atheist Ayaan Hirsi Ali adopted Christianity in November 2023.)

Evil may be a real force and if so blasé sophistication may not be enough to counter it.

Hannah Spencer - plumb lucky?

Jealous eyes are cast on the new MP for Gorton and Denton. The Daily Mail digs away at how this relatively young (34) plumber has come to co-own property “worth over £1m.” Apparently her mother helped her buy her first house ten years ago so that got her on the ladder early by today’s standards; and it also helped to have a (now ex-) partner who must earn well as a professional biochemist.

But Hannah’s acceptance speech touching on the poor rewards of hard work was not hypocritical. Many of those who voted for her will be putting in long hours in their small businesses and wondering when they will break through to the good times.

Part of her success may be down to “working as a specialist in heat pumps” where the profit margin is big. Google’s AI says an installed heat pump costs “an average of around £12,500 for a standard 3-bedroom home” ChatPT says an air source inverter costs US$1,200-2,500 to manufacture - say under UK£2,000 at the top end.

If supplying and fitting costs a further £3,000 (would it be as much as that?) the Government’s £7,500 subsidy would appear to be “pure gravy” as PG Wodehouse would say. Plenty there to share with a skilled employee, assuming Spencer was not running her own show and taking the lot. This is another case of the State being happy to burn taxpayers’ money to ride a hobby horse.

But fair play to Hannah for having the wit to exploit it. She was less likely to become a demi-millionaire just from unblocking toilets.