Our out-of-door relief cat - a slim and handsome black model with white feet - came into the kitchen to rob the resident’s plate but seeing only crunchies uttered thin pleading cries. We caved in and put a packet of superior meat on the outside dish and he laid into it lustily. “He’s eating in a way that makes his ears waggle,” I said to my wife. “So do you,” she replied. I’d never noticed, but then you wouldn’t, would you?
Who wants to be a millionaire an ex-pat? Gambling sites are missing a trick: they should say something like “WIN ENOUGH TO GET OUT OF BURNHAM’S BRITAIN!” As we are becoming poorer we are betting more - £17.5 billion in the year to March 2026. Maybe the Chancellor’s plan to balance the budget is to distress us so much that our vices supply a robust tax base. But landing the jackpot may not be necessary: this video looks at five countries that don’t need visas and could be affordable on a State pension. That said, warm weather, clean seas and seafood lunches can’t make up for losing our family, friends and culture. Nothing left for it but to stand and fight, then.
Comedy post: Dave Barry recounts what happened when he got his AI assistant to call his friends - using a clone of his voice - to tell them he was too busy watching football to do it himself…
The first UK storm this season is called Austen, after a meteorologist apparently but by coincidence the authoress Jane Austen is due to be replaced on British £10 banknotes by some animal as part of the general airbrushing out of our culture. It doesn’t seem fair to sully people’s names with destructive associations (though I could understand if the eleventh was called Karen.) Instead why not extend the wildlife theme to gales, from Aardvark to Zebu; if the latest was christened Binturong rather than Boelo I’d feel more positive about it. Or if you prefer to vent, how about terms of abuse? I’m sure you can come up with the first few.
Finally, this post claims guinea pigs have different voices. Can you tell? https://www.facebook.com/reel/1134419255934184

