Following revelations about Britain's involvement with terrorist groups in Syria*, Home Secretary Sajid Javid has ordered civil servants to prepare documentation to strip hundreds of their British citizenship and deport them.
"As soon as IS has built another enclave with Western assistance, HMG will be one of the first to recognise their sovereignty," said Mr Javid. "IS will thus be in a position to offer citizenship and issue passports to their supporters.
"We can then send the denaturalisation and deportation letters currently in preparation, to persons of interest among MI6, the Foreign Office and others including, regrettably, one or two of my colleagues in the Cabinet.
"And you thought I was only big enough to bully schoolgirls!"
* "More recently, in its military interventions and covert operations in Syria and Libya since 2011, Britain and its supported forces have been working alongside, and often in effective collaboration with, a variety of extremist and jihadist groups, including al-Qaida’s affiliate in Syria. Indeed, the vicious Islamic State group and ideology that has recently emerged partly owes its origins and rise to the policies of Britain and its allies in the region."