Sunday, February 08, 2009

Satire

A very clever essay from the rec.gambling.poker newsgroup:

The Amazing Stimulus Package.

Join us for an enjoyable night of illusion brought to you by Uncle Sam the Magnificent and Fed the Enabler. Sit back, relax while this magical duo performs feats of magic so astounding that they will have you reaching for your wallet, even while knowing neither of them ever left the stage.

Their world famous "Creating Money Out of Thin Air" will have you rubbing your eyes with amazement. Watch closely as they transfer that "Created Money" to the Wall Street elite, third world dictators, and ultimately out of the pockets of the audience. Try not to be caught as they captivate the audience with the hypnotizing phrase "Too large to fail". Try to follow their logic as they magically convince you and most of the rest of the audience that spending your future earnings today will turn their bumbled (or was it intentioned?) handling of the economy from crisis to stability.

Marvel as they nightly obfuscate their positions and purposes while they plunge the world economy into recession, and then depression.

You'll be astonished when they reward each and every member of the audience Gift cards, checks, or direct deposits worth many times their ticket price. You'll leave the auditorium scratching your head wondering how they can continually perform these feats of magic and financially return to continue the show night after night.

But most important be sure to buy tickets for their closing night. You won't want to miss their amazing final show as they make your money shrink and disappear right before your eyes, making even most wealthy people poor as they create a two class economic structure composed of the super rich and the poor. Watch as they finally render the U.S. Constitution a worthless piece of paper while magically converting hundreds of millions of American citizens to citizens of the WORLD with little resistance from a weakened, powerless middle class.

Robert Ladd

1 comment:

TBR said...

Very funny if it wasn't so frightening.