Broad Oak: your emotional support animal

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Cameron to extend culling program

Pilot cadger-culling schemes are to be extended into a nationwide drive to eradicate bovine TB, the Prime Minister announced today.

"Cattle-like total brainlessness, or bovine TB, is a serious threat to the economy," said Mr Cameron. "There is now little doubt that the cadger is the main vector."

Living closely together in overcrowded, flea-ridden rooms, cadgers are rarely seen in daytime.

A typical cadger family, enjoying unearned comfort

Instead, these dim, workshy creatures venture out at night, snuffling round alcohol outlets and fast-food takeaways, infecting others with their example of effortless entitlement. 

"The touching British affection for cadgers is miguided," said the premier. "If anyone deserves effortless entitlement, surely it should be those who vote for us, or give us jobs in the financial sector when we've finished playing at politics. My plan to redevelop Labour-voting housing estates will deal with the problem at its source."

Some commenters contend that Mr Cameron is intent on showing his effectiveness as a leader. Other observers say he's NFU.


READER: PLEASE CLICK THE REACTION BELOW - THANKS!

All original material is copyright of its author. Fair use permitted. Contact via comment. Unless indicated otherwise, all internet links accessed at time of writing. Nothing here should be taken as personal advice, financial or otherwise. No liability is accepted for third-party content, whether incorporated in or linked to this blog; or for unintentional error and inaccuracy. The blog author may have, or intend to change, a personal position in any stock or other kind of investment mentioned.

3 comments:

A K Haart said...

"On the other hand, sheep-like total brainlessness, or ovine TB, is a huge advantage for the Tory economy," added Mr Cameron.

Sackerson said...

That was a sheep crack, AK.

Paddington said...

Isn't "sheep crack" a Scots thing?