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Thursday, February 20, 2020

This just in...



Are we off-air now?

-          Yes.

‘Cause you know what I said was all bollox, don’t you?

-          Sorry?

That stuff about ability to speak English being dog-whistle politics.

-          Yes, but surely Labour is in favour of immigration?

That was just an angle, you know the game we’re playing and you love it. Actually this points system is the best news I’ve heard since I was a kid.

-          Amazing! Why?

Think, for goodness’ sake. What’s going to happen when we can’t bring in loads of poor people to do essential services like elderly care?

-          There’ll be a shortage and old people won’t be looked after.

There’ll be a shortage and care workers’ pay will have to go up, at last. And then there’ll be a recruitment drive, more employment.

-          But healthcare costs will go up, won’t they?

And about time. Our country has been exploiting the labouring classes for far too long. Besides, yes, there might be more taxes to raise, but there’ll be more people earning enough to pay taxes too. And they’ll spend more, and create more profits and employment elsewhere.

-          Excuse me for saying it, but that sounds like right-wing economic thinking.

Right economic thinking, you mean. Why do you think Jeremy and I have always wanted us out of the EU?

-          But that wasn’t Labour policy, was it? You’ve opposed Brexit before and after the Referendum and the last General Election.

I’m surprised you don’t know the difference between policy and strategy. You know we’ve had to ride two horses in the Party, same as the Tories. Half our voters haven’t a clue, they’re teddy-huggers who really do think money grows on trees.

-          Wow, you’re a secret Tory!

Let’s get this straight. You vote Labour, don’t you?

-          Well, at the BBC we maintain impartial-

Just say yes, it’s quicker.

-          Erm…

And what do you think you’re voting for us for? You get, what, a six-figure salary? The person who lifts your poor old nan out of her bed doesn’t get a fifth of your pay, while the heaviest thing you lift is a sticky bun in the BBC canteen.

-         - Tahini wrap, actually

Never mind. Workers take care of your olds, dead cheap, so you can go clubbing and stick happy sherbet up your nose. Is that your idea of socialism?

-          Blimey, if you’re going to be like that I’m voting Tory next time.

So am I, if we can’t change our strategy, ‘cause obviously it’s failed in the North. Meanwhile, let’s stay together for the sake of the viewers, darling, shall we? Let’s do a bit more on racism next time, okay?

7 comments:

Raedwald said...

Excellent! So very accurate.

Sackerson said...

@Readwald: gratias ago tibi!

Paddington said...

It sounds good.

However, in the US, where the GOP is hanging on by every legal and illegal means that they can (in the states and at the federal level), the emphasis is on 'reducing headcount', and keeping all salaries and wages low.

When the subject of increasing wages comes up, the propaganda machine kicks in, and starts to stir up the people who make just a little more than minimum wage. This is the same tactic that was used to keep poor whites under control in the Old South.

A K Haart said...

Ha ha - very good.

Sackerson said...

JD comments:

If she had been as honest as that with the electorate she would be PM now!

And what is a tahini wrap? That's an indication of how and why journalists are so out of touch with the public.

During the election my local newspaper said that Ronnie Campbell was retiring as MP and was campaigning for the Tories in Blyth. Don't know how accurate the report was but Campbell was consistently against the EU and the EEC and before that the European Coal and Steel Community!

Sackerson said...

@P: I hope and trust that our Establishment is not quite so grasping and cruel as yours, though I could be wrong.

Paddington said...

@Sackerson - it's many of the same people in charge of the corporations.