Broad Oak: your emotional support animal

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Bank boss jailed for "not stealing enough"

A former bankster has been jailed for not taking enough money from the public.

Pronouncing sentence, the judge commented, "The people have a right to expect that a senior professional such as yourself should have sufficient technical expertise to steal billions, or indeed to demand it with menaces from elected politicians, as we saw in America in 2008."

(Bag modelled by Jessica Harper)

The bag used to smuggle the cash (similar to the one pictured) is estimated by experts to be able to contain no more than £200,000 in £20 notes and probably far less, given the tapering and the drawstring at the top. One billion pounds would require a minimum of 5000 separate journeys.

"If all bankers were as unambitious as you," continued His Lordship, "the system would collapse."

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